What Will They Say About Me...

Good morning family!

This morning (and often many mornings), I woke up hearing Kirk Franklin's "The Appeal"....specifically at point 6:08. I know, it's these gloomy conversations that NOBODY likes talking about, but I often times try to think about when I die, what will people say about me? And its frustrating sometimes because I tend to live my life with that in my mind.  I'm always worrying if the things that I say or do will hurt others.  Its just my nature.

I find myself jealous because so many of my friends today are in that place where they say "Hate it or Love it, im doing ME!!"  ***NOTE**** Im not saying that anything is wrong with people who say that.  DO NOT GET IT TWISTED....lol. It's just the fact that I feel like I'm so far from where I see myself.  So its hard to DO ME when Im not 100% sure if I'm cool with who "Me" is today...lol.

If I were to die today, I hope people would look at me and say that I was a man who loved God, his family, and did good for the world.  I want to be remembered for making people laugh uncontrollably; the guy that helped as much as he could.  I want to be the guy you see God in...and it doesn't have to be signified by me wielding a bible openly so everyone can see. It would be apparent in the way I treat people.

As I think more, I'm grateful to music because it gives me an avenue to be these things that matter to me.  I'm grateful for this blog because it further allows me to open up and share my story with people.  It's my hope that through my music...through my blog....through my message, somebody is touched enough to believe they can do all things with Christ as their foundation.

Its actually kinda funny.  Today I asked God why He gives me these Words to share.  He simply replied (immediately) "because people listen to you".....wow.

I hope you hear my heart with this one...Much Love...

MD

Wilderness Prayer

Greetings Friends and Family,

It's been a while since I've posted here.  I havent forgetten!!  Life has just been a whirlwind.  I'll keep today's post short and to-the-point.  As of late, I've had my share of challenges that I feel have knocked me off course with my relationship with God.  In the spirit of transparency, I feel lost.  Me being the business person that I am, I feel compelled to have a strategy for finding a solution for getting myself back on track. Truth is, I don't have one.  But I'm grateful to have stumbled upon this old prayer.  It is my prayer for today, tomorrow, and the next.  I hope that if you are in the same place as I, that you may embrace this prayer as well:

"My Lord God, I have no idea where I am going. I do not see the road ahead of me. I cannot know for certain where it will end. Nor do i really know myself. The fact that I think that I am following your will does not mean that I am actually doing so. But i believe that the desire to please you does in fact please you. And I hope I have that desire in all that I am doing. I hope that I will never do anything apart from that desire. And I know that if I do this you will lead me by the right road... Therefore I will trust you always.  Though I may seem to be lost and in the shadow of death, I will not fear for you are with me, and you will never leave me to face my perils alone. ~ Thomas Merton (Thoughts of Solitude)"

God Bless,

Marc

What is the world coming to...

So last night (since I was forced to evacuate due to flooding and no power), I decided to watch the Video Music Awards (VMAs) on MTV by my boy's crib.  I just have to say, that I knew my parents were strict and didnt let me watch for a reason, but I feel it has NEVER been this bad.  I couldn't believe what I saw for one minute. The things that we used to be too embarrassed to say or do on television are just a common place nowadays.

****ALERT*****THIS IS THE KEEPING IT REAL SECTION*****

I have to say that the Devil is SOO prevalent in today's society.  These little kids are looking/acting/talking devilish in every way.  The worst part about it was, every single one of them were thanking God for getting them to where they were.  One lady went into deep praise because her son won an award.  Her son then approached the stage and began to shout the most useless profanity he could think of.  Needless to say, my spirit was utterly disturbed.

I begin to think a little more on this.  My first inclination was tojust turn the channel.  But I thought to myself, "as a Christian, what is turning the channel doing to combat this?"  Is this really standing up for holiness?  I couldn't help but think that God didn't put me here to just accept this.  But what could I do?  Who am I to declare war on this "filth."  After all, I'm still dealing with my own personal demons.

But God is really putting this on my heart.  He's given me this music gift that I feel is peculiar.  I'm going to figure out how to use this to fight the good fight.  Rebellion is our sinful nature.  War is usually the outcome of rebellions.  The Great War is soon to occur, and I want to hone my skill for battle.  You'll see some changes to come...and I hope you rock with me...

Much love,

MD

Behind the Meaning: Keep On Praisin (Close To You)

...this is the last song from my debut Gospel album.  It's definitely THE jam if I may say so myself.  It talks about how in good times, we should praise Him.   In bad times, we should praise Him.  At ALL times we should have the mentality to Keep On Praisin'.

Behind the Meaning: Give You The Praise (Close To You)

This song was a song that God gave me.  It was just a song of praise that I wanted to lift up to Him.  It's hard to add more to this, because there honestly isn't anymore to it.  I think the biggest line that God gave me with this song was the line following the choir that eventually is repeated at the end of the song: "I won't hesitate, I'll give you the praise."

Behind the Meaning: Close To You (Close To You)

So I've been slacking on getting these out, so I'm going to knock out the remaining three of these tonight.  The first song I will talk about is the title track on my album, entitled Close To You.  The reason I wrote this song (and ultimately decided to name the CD after this song) was because this was ultimately where I stood in my relationship with God.  Now to truly understand what I'm talking about, I have to give you a little bit of history.

Behind the Meaning: Amazing Mercy (Close To You)

So I have to be honest about this song.  My only motivation at the beginning of writing this song was to have a song that mirrored (and maybe even combatted) Amazing Grace...lol.  There...you have it...guilty as charged.

Behind The Meaning: I Love You (Close To You)

An incredible God deserves incredible praise!!  That really didnt really have anything to do with anything.  I just felt it on my heart :-).   So thank you for entertaining my digression.

The next song I'm writing about is my song entitled "I Love You." This song was actually one of the hardest songs on my album to write.  I wanted something VERY simple.  Something that would tell the story of how I was feeling, without being too flashy.  My girl Nina Vishwanath actually randomly sent me this raw beat that she made.  It was a short clip, but it was enough to inspire me to create I Love You.

Behind the Meaning: You Were There (Close To You)

What's up family!!  So here is another installment of "Behind the Meaning,"  a segment dedicated on the WHY I wrote the songs that are on my debut album entitled Close To You--which is in itunes today (shameless plug).  This time around, I will be talking about my song "You Were There." It is the 5th track on my album, but actually the 1st song I wrote.

This song was actually inspired by the popular "Footprint In The Sand" poem by Mary Stevenson.  In it, you see a person walking on the beach, each step corresponding to a specific memory or a moment in their life.  It reads on to show a conversation with God where the protagonist (the main character) questions God on why, in the rough times in their life, were their only one set of footprints in the sand.  But in good times, there are two sets of footprints in the sand.  God responds:

Intermission: Just a Prayer

Hello my family....I wrote a prayer out yesterday, and I wanted to share it with everyone.   I'm not going to edit it.  I'm not going to prettify it.  I'm just going to share it with you all.


God, my Father.  I come to you humbly, grateful for all that you are for me...all that you've done for me.  I've taken some time to think.  There is so much I struggle with:

• The burden of pleasing everyone
• The feeling of loneliness although everyone is around
• The feelings of failing You
• The fear of being irrelevant
• The fear of weight gain
• The constant pain in my body
• The silent tears I cry because I feel I can't share with others (even if I can)

It's all just so much to bear at times. But I know who you are and what you stand for. They say you specialize in great outcomes. Well, I'm not even looking for a GREAT outcome. I just want to have peace in my spirit and a spirit of gratitude For the gifts you have given me. I'm tired of always wanting someone else's gifts. I'm tired of feeling like I cant...just because I feel others have it so much better.  I love you God, but this internal war is getting to me. I'm weaker than I thought. But you've promised me that for every situation I'm brought to, you've already planned a way of escape.  Give me the strength to just hold one through it all.

I know that there are people out there that are struggling with the same things that I am.  I just pray that we are able to come together (in spirit) and encourage each other out of these thoughts and feelings that attempt to subdue our joy.  Everyday we have the opportunity to live Galatians 6:2.  I know at the end of the day, I cant make it without any of you.

Thank you for being there for and with me...


Blessings,


MD

Behind the Meaning: Breakthrough (Close To You)

Greetings MD Fans,

Allow me to pause and just thank all of you for the love you've been showing me.  I have to say that it warms my heart to see all this support.  I figured now that all the initial business from releasing an album is over, I can get back to blogging the meanings behind my songs.

The next song on the album is Breakthrough.  This is probably THE most interesting song on the album, because it was literally written in like 2 hrs.  I was going through some things (both personal and professional), and one day the load just got too heavy for me to bare.  I just got SO overwhelmed to where I told a friend at work "you know, i feel like sometimes you just gotta go to Hell and back just for things to go your way....just to break through the nonsense."  Little did I know, I was establishing the foundation for one of my favorite songs on the album.

Behind the Meaning: He Touched Me (Close To You)

This song has a particularly special meaning for me.  I blogged about this a few years ago, but many of you know that my father passed away in 2009.  When I went home for the funeral, I found one of my dad's old mini cassette recorders.  On one side, I heard sounds of him hunting (so it had to be really old).  On the other,  I actually found him singing the old Christian classic "He Touched Me."

Behind the Meaning: My Everything (Close To You)

So this song was inspired by yet another Fred Hammond song (Everything To Me).  After listening to this song, I was on this kick to write about how God was just...MY everything.  I had a few songs that I had arranged previously that fulfilled this desire, but none of them were good enough to put on an album.  I was in the studio with my Producer, Noel, and he played this track for me.  Okay, let me pause here for a second.  So I have to admit something.  This track was NOT originally for me...but after I heard it, I just couldn't let it go.  So yes, someone got Track Jacked.... But dont worry, I added my own flavor to it--rearranged it, added some sounds, added an intro, added a vamp, and made it mine :-).

Behind the Meaning: Close To You...The Album

So I've decided to do something that I've never seen from any other artist (I pay attention to)...I'm going to blog about why I created each of the songs on my album.  I figure I should start by talking about the album as a whole. Well this whole journey was built on two things.  First, I wanted to find my sound (who is Marc Danyell).  Then I had to think about WHY I was making this album.

Wash Me....Then Use Me...

Whats up eWorld (i love calling you guys that...),

So I vow to do much much better than I have with keeping up with this post. The homie, Guil Da, has commissioned me to log my journey, so I will do so.

So this saturday at 6:30pm, I will be opening up for Carl Jenkins & X'Altation at First Baptist Church of Lincoln Gardens (771 Somerset St, Somerset, NJ). I will be singing two songs off of my debut album, Close To You---all shameless plugs. In preparation for this event, I wondered to myself...how can I get myself ready??

The Making of Marc Danyell....

(gets into Timbaland voice)...its been a long time....shouldna left you...wit-out a dope blog to post to....

I know I know, I've been slacking. This project of mine at work has been killing me though. But rest assured, it will be over September 25th (hopefully). Then I shall reclaim my freedom!!!

Anywho, to the important things. In my August 22nd session with Ankh Ra, he challenged me to list out the assets and liabilities of Marcus Jackson. The object of this exercise is to essentially use this as a foundation for discovering who I want Marc Danyell to be. Just as a reminder, Marc Danyell is sort of my Marcus 2.0--the person I am working to grow into...my Sasha Fierce (as Michelle so eloquently put it). So with that being said, I have generated this list based on responses from a few people I've interviewed:

Marcus Jackson's Assets: Wisdom beyond my years; ability to listen; confidence; my ability to learn; sincerety; love; strength; care; handsomeness...lol; adaptability; ability to connect with people (of all kinds); my Faith

Marcus Jackson's Liabilities: I tend to second-guess myself; which leads overcompensating; I think too much; I sweat too much (which may be a result of number one); naturally negative about myself

Now if you are reading this and feel there is more to be added, feel free to comment! But of course, my next task is to decide who I want Marc Danyell to be. Obviously, I want Marc Danyell to be a mix of all my assets, with a little taste of liabilities (just to keep me focused). But its my drive to be a perfectionist that enables those aforementioned liabilities. ARRGGHHH...this exercise is much harder than I previously presumed it would be. Stay tuned as I continue to develop and understand the inner workings of me....