Some call it premonition...some call it E.S.P....I have to give as Divine preparation. For the past couple of days, I've been having a strange taste in my mouth. I don't know if anyone else has experienced that feeling, usually after you eat something that didn't taste too satisfactory. Well this taste has been in my mouth consistently for the past two days. Not even sweets have been able to provide a brief relief to this wretched taste. Not only that, but I also just have this unsettling feeling down in my gut (noo....its not gas, thank you very much). I really can't put my finger on what that is either. In this heightened awareness period, I can't help but think about the fact that my Father's bday is coming up on Thursday (Dec. 17th). He would have been 71.
Tuesday, December 15, 2009
Sunday, November 29, 2009
Who is You!!!!!
There was a kid that used to run around in our high school thriving for attention. One of the things he used to do was unexpectedly jump in someone's face and say "WHO IS YOU!" He knew perfect grammar, but just wanted to find creative ways to be funny....and loud...lol. But this question is a stronger question than just a line shouted by some quirky high school kid.
Thursday, November 26, 2009
The Pursuit of Happiness, pt. 3, Happy Thanksgiving
There has been a lot that has gone on in my head since the last time I’ve written in this blog. And I’m slowly feeling like that will be a common place as I continue to grow older. Last time I spoke to you about managing and nurturing your gifts. In the spirit of Thanksgiving, I am making this an ode to all of my gifts:
1) My first thank you goes to God. Without him I would be nothing. He’s allowed me to have wisdom beyond my years; he has given me the ability to build relationships; he has given me to the gift of unconditional love; lastly, with all these gifts, he’s given me to drive to share them with others. Thank you God for keeping me.
1) My first thank you goes to God. Without him I would be nothing. He’s allowed me to have wisdom beyond my years; he has given me the ability to build relationships; he has given me to the gift of unconditional love; lastly, with all these gifts, he’s given me to drive to share them with others. Thank you God for keeping me.
Tuesday, November 17, 2009
The Pursuit of Happiness, Pt 2 (Nuture your Gift)
So early this morning (5:15am to be exact), I decided to go for a run today. I learned a couple of things this morning 1) That I am NOT a runner...no matter how much i try...2) That there is no greater feeling than working out early in the morning...3) That sometimes, that alone time can be beneficial for your mental stability. I want to share with everyone one thing that God has been placing on my mind as of late.
Whether you're Christian or not, you can always find great wisdom in the Bible. I happen to be Christian, so I find my guide to life there. I was directed in spirit to check out Matthew 25...mosre specifically, Jesus' parable of the Talents. Long story short, the "master" has to go away for a while. While he is gone, he gives his "servants" a few talents (or money in this case) to manage while he's away. Two of the servants invest the money, and bring back more than they had before when the master returns. One servant just buries the money. I will focus on those servants who invested the money's and got interest. When the master returns, he says to the servants "well done, my good and faithful servants...you were faithful over a few things, I will make you ruler over many things."
Whether you're Christian or not, you can always find great wisdom in the Bible. I happen to be Christian, so I find my guide to life there. I was directed in spirit to check out Matthew 25...mosre specifically, Jesus' parable of the Talents. Long story short, the "master" has to go away for a while. While he is gone, he gives his "servants" a few talents (or money in this case) to manage while he's away. Two of the servants invest the money, and bring back more than they had before when the master returns. One servant just buries the money. I will focus on those servants who invested the money's and got interest. When the master returns, he says to the servants "well done, my good and faithful servants...you were faithful over a few things, I will make you ruler over many things."
Saturday, November 14, 2009
The Pursuit of Happiness, Pt 1
Have you ever sat there on your couch, or in your car, or wherever you may be and asked yourself "why am i always tired??" I find it odd that I find myself busy all day everyday, but at the end of the day I feel as though I've accomplished nothing. My day generally starts at 5am, going to the gym, then to work, then to some type of rehearsal, then back home, then maybe some more work, then sleep, and then I do it again.
It would make sense to think that I must be very productive. Well, yes! I do get a lot accomplished in my day. But what value does it really add. I mean, I think about work. I could save Johnson & Johnson from blowing up during a freak meteor shower attacked that's strangely enough only aimed at J&J. But I know that by tomorrow it would not even matter. Not even a little....so I find myself searching for ways to prove myself again and again. This way, the higher ups remember my value, and I'm not let go in the next rounds of cuts. This accounts for many restless nights.
It would make sense to think that I must be very productive. Well, yes! I do get a lot accomplished in my day. But what value does it really add. I mean, I think about work. I could save Johnson & Johnson from blowing up during a freak meteor shower attacked that's strangely enough only aimed at J&J. But I know that by tomorrow it would not even matter. Not even a little....so I find myself searching for ways to prove myself again and again. This way, the higher ups remember my value, and I'm not let go in the next rounds of cuts. This accounts for many restless nights.
Tuesday, November 10, 2009
Sting of Death
I have to say that it has been a crazy year on SO many levels. One of the things that has become an unwelcomed common place in my life has been the amount of deaths I've been around this year. Often times in my sessions with Ankh Ra, we recall what's been going on in my life-my progression with my voice, my health, and my spirit. In this past Saturday's session, we reflected on the very fact that I'm always going to a funeral.
Sunday, November 8, 2009
He Favors Me...
Whats up eWorld!! It has been a while since I've posted here and boy oh boy have things have progressed. The old adage says that nothing is permanent but change. Things around in my world continues to stay exciting because of change. One of the major changes that have occured came this past week. Last week, JnJ announced that they would be laying off 8% of its workforce. Now I've gone through layoffs before, but never has it hit so close to home. I won't go into too much details (to protect the affected) but so many around me were directly impacted. Some of the people that were affected were probably some of the best at what they do, which made it all the more difficult to understand it.
In it all, I have to step away and just thank God for how he covered me. Although many were impacted, I was blessed to be given more. I know that it was nothing but God that did this. Why? Cuz there is nothing at ALL that I have done to deserve this. Sometimes you just have to chalk it up to favor. I'm grateful for everything given to me, but it still hurts when things crumble around me.
But He knows the plans He has for all of us....That sounds like a song...
Til Next Time...
Blessed
In it all, I have to step away and just thank God for how he covered me. Although many were impacted, I was blessed to be given more. I know that it was nothing but God that did this. Why? Cuz there is nothing at ALL that I have done to deserve this. Sometimes you just have to chalk it up to favor. I'm grateful for everything given to me, but it still hurts when things crumble around me.
But He knows the plans He has for all of us....That sounds like a song...
Til Next Time...
Blessed
Sunday, September 13, 2009
Happy Bday To Me: Year In Review
Its funny. I remember back when I was about 18 or 19, an informal prophet came up to me and stated that my life was going to change dramatically between then and the age of 24. Being young, you receive those words, but continue to move on with your life. With that being said, nothing really happened between then and my 24th bday, so I'll move forward. So now I'll break down my 24th bday. Hold on for the ride:
New Experiences:
So shortly after my 24th bday, I ventured into the vocal competition space. I entered into the Verizon Wireless "How Sweet the Sound" competition with this choir I sing with. Cutting to the chase, that was a great experience. Met Donald Lawrence, Hezekiah Walker, Marvin Sapp, and CeCe Winans. That was a wonderful experience. I also had the opportunity to play in the Gospel Musical space as well. I enjoyed that, it was fun, but I probably wont be doing that again for a while..lol. Just to Much going. I also went on my first cruise...that was probably the most fun I had all year!!! And I went with my boonopolous, so that was great. I should probably devote some time to talking about the woman of my dreams, but I'll hold off to a later blog for that one...lol smiley face... Anywho, that brings me to May....
The Life Changer:
I still remember it vividly. I was at church rehearsing with the men's choir at First Baptist Church. I saw that my mom had called about 4 times, so I made it a point to call her back. She told me that my Dad was in the hospital, but that everything was okay. She had spoken to him, and he said he'd probably be released the next day. So me being the person I am, I prayed about it and went on with my day. Went home...went to sleep. Woke up the next morning to the most unforgettable call ever. It was a call from a friend of mine that just simply said: "Sorry for your loss." Those words have rang in my mind ever since. My Father passed away on May 14, 2009. I still struggle to talk about this....
Light in the Midst of Darkness:
From the moments after my Dad's death until now, my life has been in overdrive. Since then, I've had the opportunity to go to the 75th anniversary of the Apollo where I was in the same room as such stars like Jamie Foxx, Pattie Labelle, Mariah Carey, Bill Cosby, and my favorite, Prince. I also had the opportunity to meet Ankh Ra (the Vocal Coach from Diddy's Making the Band 4 (with Day 26)). Since then I've been seeing Mr. Ankh for Vocal lessons and he's been challenging me ever since. I've experienced much growth that has served as the catalyst to my next plateau in life.
25:
As I've reached my quarter-life point, I plan to continue the fastpaced growth and development plan I've been on. There will be some changes...there will be some areas where I strengthen. But this is a new space...and I'm going to take you with me. Until next time...
New Experiences:
So shortly after my 24th bday, I ventured into the vocal competition space. I entered into the Verizon Wireless "How Sweet the Sound" competition with this choir I sing with. Cutting to the chase, that was a great experience. Met Donald Lawrence, Hezekiah Walker, Marvin Sapp, and CeCe Winans. That was a wonderful experience. I also had the opportunity to play in the Gospel Musical space as well. I enjoyed that, it was fun, but I probably wont be doing that again for a while..lol. Just to Much going. I also went on my first cruise...that was probably the most fun I had all year!!! And I went with my boonopolous, so that was great. I should probably devote some time to talking about the woman of my dreams, but I'll hold off to a later blog for that one...lol smiley face... Anywho, that brings me to May....
The Life Changer:
I still remember it vividly. I was at church rehearsing with the men's choir at First Baptist Church. I saw that my mom had called about 4 times, so I made it a point to call her back. She told me that my Dad was in the hospital, but that everything was okay. She had spoken to him, and he said he'd probably be released the next day. So me being the person I am, I prayed about it and went on with my day. Went home...went to sleep. Woke up the next morning to the most unforgettable call ever. It was a call from a friend of mine that just simply said: "Sorry for your loss." Those words have rang in my mind ever since. My Father passed away on May 14, 2009. I still struggle to talk about this....
Light in the Midst of Darkness:
From the moments after my Dad's death until now, my life has been in overdrive. Since then, I've had the opportunity to go to the 75th anniversary of the Apollo where I was in the same room as such stars like Jamie Foxx, Pattie Labelle, Mariah Carey, Bill Cosby, and my favorite, Prince. I also had the opportunity to meet Ankh Ra (the Vocal Coach from Diddy's Making the Band 4 (with Day 26)). Since then I've been seeing Mr. Ankh for Vocal lessons and he's been challenging me ever since. I've experienced much growth that has served as the catalyst to my next plateau in life.
25:
As I've reached my quarter-life point, I plan to continue the fastpaced growth and development plan I've been on. There will be some changes...there will be some areas where I strengthen. But this is a new space...and I'm going to take you with me. Until next time...
Saturday, September 5, 2009
The Making of Marc Danyell....
(gets into Timbaland voice)...its been a long time....shouldna left you...wit-out a dope blog to post to....
I know I know, I've been slacking. This project of mine at work has been killing me though. But rest assured, it will be over September 25th (hopefully). Then I shall reclaim my freedom!!!
Anywho, to the important things. In my August 22nd session with Ankh Ra, he challenged me to list out the assets and liabilities of Marcus Jackson. The object of this exercise is to essentially use this as a foundation for discovering who I want Marc Danyell to be. Just as a reminder, Marc Danyell is sort of my Marcus 2.0--the person I am working to grow into...my Sasha Fierce (as Michelle so eloquently put it). So with that being said, I have generated this list based on responses from a few people I've interviewed:
Marcus Jackson's Assets: Wisdom beyond my years; ability to listen; confidence; my ability to learn; sincerety; love; strength; care; handsomeness...lol; adaptability; ability to connect with people (of all kinds); my Faith
Marcus Jackson's Liabilities: I tend to second-guess myself; which leads overcompensating; I think too much; I sweat too much (which may be a result of number one); naturally negative about myself
Now if you are reading this and feel there is more to be added, feel free to comment! But of course, my next task is to decide who I want Marc Danyell to be. Obviously, I want Marc Danyell to be a mix of all my assets, with a little taste of liabilities (just to keep me focused). But its my drive to be a perfectionist that enables those aforementioned liabilities. ARRGGHHH...this exercise is much harder than I previously presumed it would be. Stay tuned as I continue to develop and understand the inner workings of me....
I know I know, I've been slacking. This project of mine at work has been killing me though. But rest assured, it will be over September 25th (hopefully). Then I shall reclaim my freedom!!!
Anywho, to the important things. In my August 22nd session with Ankh Ra, he challenged me to list out the assets and liabilities of Marcus Jackson. The object of this exercise is to essentially use this as a foundation for discovering who I want Marc Danyell to be. Just as a reminder, Marc Danyell is sort of my Marcus 2.0--the person I am working to grow into...my Sasha Fierce (as Michelle so eloquently put it). So with that being said, I have generated this list based on responses from a few people I've interviewed:
Marcus Jackson's Assets: Wisdom beyond my years; ability to listen; confidence; my ability to learn; sincerety; love; strength; care; handsomeness...lol; adaptability; ability to connect with people (of all kinds); my Faith
Marcus Jackson's Liabilities: I tend to second-guess myself; which leads overcompensating; I think too much; I sweat too much (which may be a result of number one); naturally negative about myself
Now if you are reading this and feel there is more to be added, feel free to comment! But of course, my next task is to decide who I want Marc Danyell to be. Obviously, I want Marc Danyell to be a mix of all my assets, with a little taste of liabilities (just to keep me focused). But its my drive to be a perfectionist that enables those aforementioned liabilities. ARRGGHHH...this exercise is much harder than I previously presumed it would be. Stay tuned as I continue to develop and understand the inner workings of me....
Friday, August 21, 2009
Can't Catch Me, I'm the Gingerbread Man!
Alright everyone, allow me to revert back to my least favorite blog just for a brief second. So ever since I got my 300 (see to the right), I've been involved in an epic battle. It seems that people who drive the Dodge Charger (usually people in the all black ones and not named Jay...) need to test their vehicular fortitude against my car. I know, it seems that I'm being a car-cist, but but if the shoe fits....So this morning, I'm at a red light...minding my business. I hear the car to my right (which happens to be a Black Charger) rev up their engine as to say "let's race out of this light." Not making eye contact, I accept the challenge mentally. Light turns green....I pump the gas....and I strike out of the blocks. Little did HE know that I had already I.D.'d him to be a Cop in an unmarked vehicle. So I strike out the blocks but maintain a speed of 2 miles UNDER the speed limit. (Here's where the fun begins).....
So I notice that the cop hurriedly cuts off the person that was behind me...then starts doing the computer thing that they do. The funny thing is...he is typing VEHEMENTLY on his computer trying to find something to get me on....until he finally gives up. There is NOTHING he could find on my record!!! Now you know my issue with cops out here (see my July 14th post for reference). But again, I'm not saying that the cops are out here doing the racial profiling thing, nor that they are just out to get me. All I'm simply saying is this:
Nanny Nanny....Boo Boo
(stick that up your surcharge and pay it!!!)
((yeah that was a bit of a stretch...but it felt right))
Thursday, August 20, 2009
Vocal Lessons, Part 1.
So many of you know that I've been taking lessons with the Vocal Guru Ankh Ra (you may remember him from Diddy's Making the Band: 4 with Day 26). I have to say that seeing him has been a growth experience. Because I'm experiencing such growth, he challenged me to start a "diary" about his sessions. Since I dont do DIARIES, I figured i'd utilize my blog to share some of the learnings--which is really convenient considering the new direction I'm headed with this blog.
Anywho, I have some catching up to do considering that I've seen him now 3 times. So this blog is dedicated to the recap:
Session 1: The Intro
So I was taken aback at first that I met up with THE Ankh Ra from TV. I had met him at the 75th anniversary of the Apollo (thanks again Chelz for being great!). I expressed my desire to sing and my willingness to take the next step with my voice. I met with him, and I realized something. I had a lot of work to do. I'll just sum it up in the things I learned. 1) I'm really negative with this singing thing. The phrase "I Can't" was a commonplace in that first session. 2) I have decide what I want out of singing (am I serious about it, am I doing Gospel, R&B, make up your mind). and 3) He gave me a lot of techniques that showed my vocal weakness. I had a lot to think about....
Session 2: I Can't Be Stopped
In true Marcus nature, I came back with a vengence and conquered every single challenge mentioned before. I had a new attitude (no more I Can't...only I Will!!). I decided that my singing wasnt just for me, but for those I'm looking to reach. I killed that one. And I definitely mastered all of the vocal techniques that he had shown me. I was sitting on top of the world. So he left me with a challenge. Let see you live through whatever song you decide to sing....I GOT THIS!
Session 3: The Humbling
So I came in on my high horse again...ready to show Ankh that I am the man. He showed me some new vocal Training exercises. I stubbled a bit, but I still felt I could not be stopped. We did our breathing and our warm-up. Smooth...I did that okay as well. Then it was time to work on my singing. I chose to sing "I'll Trust You Lord" by Donnie McClurkin--a song I felt I could relate to very well (see post about officer 184...that jerk..lol). Well, I tried to sing the high part of the second verse "but will you trust that I can help you.....will you trust me child no matter come whaaat maaaaay." I'll just say...I STUNK UP THE JOINT. Ankh beat me up soo bad, until the point he just told me that I should sing it in a key more suitable for a Baritone.
Oh man, how that depressed me. I always loved being the guy who could sing higher than everybody else. And now Ankh Ra breaks me by suggesting that I dont have the range I thought I had. SMH. Darn you Puberty...Darn you Flem that just sits in my throat year-round.
I have a session this Saturday (8/22) with him. Will our hero come out on top...or will he be broken again? Tune in next time (after Saturday). Same Chunk URL, Same Chunk Blog.....
Anywho, I have some catching up to do considering that I've seen him now 3 times. So this blog is dedicated to the recap:
Session 1: The Intro
So I was taken aback at first that I met up with THE Ankh Ra from TV. I had met him at the 75th anniversary of the Apollo (thanks again Chelz for being great!). I expressed my desire to sing and my willingness to take the next step with my voice. I met with him, and I realized something. I had a lot of work to do. I'll just sum it up in the things I learned. 1) I'm really negative with this singing thing. The phrase "I Can't" was a commonplace in that first session. 2) I have decide what I want out of singing (am I serious about it, am I doing Gospel, R&B, make up your mind). and 3) He gave me a lot of techniques that showed my vocal weakness. I had a lot to think about....
Session 2: I Can't Be Stopped
In true Marcus nature, I came back with a vengence and conquered every single challenge mentioned before. I had a new attitude (no more I Can't...only I Will!!). I decided that my singing wasnt just for me, but for those I'm looking to reach. I killed that one. And I definitely mastered all of the vocal techniques that he had shown me. I was sitting on top of the world. So he left me with a challenge. Let see you live through whatever song you decide to sing....I GOT THIS!
Session 3: The Humbling
So I came in on my high horse again...ready to show Ankh that I am the man. He showed me some new vocal Training exercises. I stubbled a bit, but I still felt I could not be stopped. We did our breathing and our warm-up. Smooth...I did that okay as well. Then it was time to work on my singing. I chose to sing "I'll Trust You Lord" by Donnie McClurkin--a song I felt I could relate to very well (see post about officer 184...that jerk..lol). Well, I tried to sing the high part of the second verse "but will you trust that I can help you.....will you trust me child no matter come whaaat maaaaay." I'll just say...I STUNK UP THE JOINT. Ankh beat me up soo bad, until the point he just told me that I should sing it in a key more suitable for a Baritone.
Oh man, how that depressed me. I always loved being the guy who could sing higher than everybody else. And now Ankh Ra breaks me by suggesting that I dont have the range I thought I had. SMH. Darn you Puberty...Darn you Flem that just sits in my throat year-round.
I have a session this Saturday (8/22) with him. Will our hero come out on top...or will he be broken again? Tune in next time (after Saturday). Same Chunk URL, Same Chunk Blog.....
Wednesday, August 19, 2009
The Inner Workings of Me....
So its been a while since I've written in my blog. That's partly because of a busy work schedule....and partly because I just didnt feel like sharing what was on my mind. I just felt like everyone elses blog has a purpose and a meaning. As I look at some of my friend's blogs, I can see that this venue serves as a way of expression: expression the journey of mourning and growth, the expression of strength in the midst of confusion, the expression of a new and exciting hobby, or just an expression of life through their eyes.
It's funny because as I typed that very paragraph, I remembered one interesting thing about myself. I'm a very strong listener, but I have soooo many walls up that many don't have the opportunity to listen to me. I guess I can say that this is a breakthrough moment for me. A growth opportunity.
So I've rebranded this site. And it will continuously go through changes. This blog now reflects The Inner Workings of Me....
It's funny because as I typed that very paragraph, I remembered one interesting thing about myself. I'm a very strong listener, but I have soooo many walls up that many don't have the opportunity to listen to me. I guess I can say that this is a breakthrough moment for me. A growth opportunity.
So I've rebranded this site. And it will continuously go through changes. This blog now reflects The Inner Workings of Me....
Tuesday, July 14, 2009
Pray for Those who Persecute You...
Greetings eWorld,
I know, I know...its been a while since I've tickled your minds with one of my posts. I'll even admit that it may have been even longer of a wait if it werent for the events of this morning. Yeah, this morning was crazy...one of those moments that pulls out the worst in you. I guess it'll be best if I just walk through the situation.
Pray for my growth yall, because I still havent forgiven this cop yet....
That Chunkyboi
I know, I know...its been a while since I've tickled your minds with one of my posts. I'll even admit that it may have been even longer of a wait if it werent for the events of this morning. Yeah, this morning was crazy...one of those moments that pulls out the worst in you. I guess it'll be best if I just walk through the situation.
So I get up early, as usual, and I'm on my way to work at 6am. I'm driving out of my complex (its a rather large complex), and I see about 1500 Ft ahead of me a cop walking towards a parked car that has their hazard lights on (looking like they just got pulled over). Me, being completely unaware of the situation, I slow down...not tryna hit a cop...thats just bad business...lol. So as I approach this event (remember, the cop is walking towards the parked car with hazards), I notice the cop signal for the car to keep moving...but get this...he points to me and tells me to stop. So I'm thinking its a routine traffic stop and that he's pulling everyone over to inform them of something. So this joker (North Brunswick Police Officer #148) asks for my license and registration. Long story short, he gives ME!! a ticket for speeding. What in the world just happened? I was obviously slowing down because he had stopped someone else...and I wasnt going that fast anyways. I mean after all, it was a 25 MPH zone and I know they are sticklers for ticketing people in that area. So I'm completely caught off guard with this. The even suckier part is that I cant even fight this ticket because I have NO way of proving that I wasnt going fast...
Here's the funny part...before I got stopped, I was in my car singing "I'll Trust You, Lord" by Donnie McClurkin and thinking how much effort it takes for us to trust God, even when your path seems so bleek. And then this happened. I don't need to tell you how angry, vengeful, hurt, and confused I was (Oh, and did I mention angry). I just witness the worst showing of law enforcement ever. I begin to think of the many people I could complain to about this officer...who could I voice my complete disgust to about the people who are put in place to protect and "serve." But then the words of Christ rang in my ears..."pray for those who persecute you." Man...conviction. I really can not find it in my heart to forgive and/or pray for this wack cop who pulled me over and essentially wrote me a bill payable to the North Brunwick Police Department (with the tip going to my insurance company). And that's when the words of the song that I was singing right before this incident replayed in my mind:
"will you let go...
i'll trust you Lord
will you stand on My Word...
i'll trust you Lord
against all odds will you believe what I have said...
i'll trust you Lord"
Pray for my growth yall, because I still havent forgiven this cop yet....
That Chunkyboi
Monday, June 15, 2009
In The Still Of the Night: Coping Pt. 2
Greetings eWorld,
You know every now and then, we all have an experience leaves us feeling convicted--a moment when someone (or something) "tells you about yourself." I had one of those moments this morning. I came into work today and read my daily devotionals--my normal course of action. This mornings devotion was simply titled "Be Still." Seemed interesting, so I read it. Little did I know that in this message, I would receive something that could change my outlook on myself.
That Chunkyboi
You know every now and then, we all have an experience leaves us feeling convicted--a moment when someone (or something) "tells you about yourself." I had one of those moments this morning. I came into work today and read my daily devotionals--my normal course of action. This mornings devotion was simply titled "Be Still." Seemed interesting, so I read it. Little did I know that in this message, I would receive something that could change my outlook on myself.
"Sometimes [having a busy life] is a mode of escape – burying ourselves in work or in a TV program keeps our minds off life’s disappointments."
It's been a month since the passing of my Dad, and I've reached a place where I can finally get some sleep (the first week and a half was rough...no sleep at ALL). I have my method to achieving sleep too...I watch TV until my eyes can't take it any longer and then I pass out (Nice, Right!!). I know that I am doing this so I can go to bed without having to think about that dreaded phone call that I recieved let me know the news. Some may say this is justifiable, considering I'm still coping with the loss. But I began to think to myself, this is generally how I always would get myself to sleep at night.
In my post-conviction, introspective moment this morning, I realized that it was a mental issue. I figured that if my mind were to think right before bed--think about my to-do list, think about my all my hurts, think about tomorrow's problems--I probably wouldnt get much sleep that night. (Let me chime in by saying NO, this theory hadn't been confirmed. But I didn't want to test it. ) But why did I feel this way? And that's when it hit me.
I knew the silence of the night required me to deal with those things that I just didn't want to deal with...my internal issues...the real nighttime monsters I feared the most. And up until this moment, I didnt even recognize that I feared my thoughts that much.
The thing about me is, I'm the type of person to face my fears head on. Suffice it to say, tonight will be an interesting night...lets see how that goes...I'll keep ya posted!
Much love...That Chunkyboi
Thursday, June 4, 2009
NBA Finals: I Hate How Much I Love You So....
Greetings Sports eWorld,
Okay, okay...I must admit...YES! I was completely opposed to both the Lakers and Magic making it to the NBA Finals this year. I mean...who can afford to actually LIKE Kobe (yeah, I said it...). And anytime your most dangerous player is Hedo Turkoglu (MAGIC), you know your team is lame...
But nevertheless, I've seen the light. I began to think on the series a bit. Hmm...will Andrew Bynam man up enough to slow down Superman? Who's going to win the battle of versatile big men between Rashard Lewis and Lamar Odom. Who will be the Gasol stopper on the Magic? Can the rotation of Courtney Lee and Mickael Pietrus slow down Kobe Bryant? Is Hedo Turkoglu really the Michael Jordan of Turkey? And just like that, I found myself EXTRA geeked about this series. I mean, just look at those on-court matchups!!!!
Oh man, oh man (and woman)....I'm soooo not going to be able to focus today at work. Please rest assured that I will be glued to the television tonight...eating pizza and drinking probably the best bottle of Vitamin water ever created....
Now if I can only figure out which team to root for....
That Chunkyboi
Okay, okay...I must admit...YES! I was completely opposed to both the Lakers and Magic making it to the NBA Finals this year. I mean...who can afford to actually LIKE Kobe (yeah, I said it...). And anytime your most dangerous player is Hedo Turkoglu (MAGIC), you know your team is lame...
But nevertheless, I've seen the light. I began to think on the series a bit. Hmm...will Andrew Bynam man up enough to slow down Superman? Who's going to win the battle of versatile big men between Rashard Lewis and Lamar Odom. Who will be the Gasol stopper on the Magic? Can the rotation of Courtney Lee and Mickael Pietrus slow down Kobe Bryant? Is Hedo Turkoglu really the Michael Jordan of Turkey? And just like that, I found myself EXTRA geeked about this series. I mean, just look at those on-court matchups!!!!
Oh man, oh man (and woman)....I'm soooo not going to be able to focus today at work. Please rest assured that I will be glued to the television tonight...eating pizza and drinking probably the best bottle of Vitamin water ever created....
Now if I can only figure out which team to root for....
That Chunkyboi
Wednesday, June 3, 2009
Coping Pt. 1
Greetings eWorld,
So many of you may know that my Dad passed away a few weeks ago. I have to say that this has been probably one of the hardest things I've ever had to deal with. Everything from the actual funeral events to the constant reminders of the upcoming Father's Day--all of it has played its part in making this a hard for me.
But there has been a blessing in the midst of this whirlwind. It has forced me to reflect on life and how beautiful it is--how beautiful the design of the world is...how wondrous the spring colors are...how beautiful people can be (even New Jersey folks....rarely...lol). There are some people in this world that really embody that Galatians 6:1-2 kind of love. And it just feels so sincere. I tend to call those folks Angels on Earth. Everytime I think on them, I say to myself that they must have the purest of hearts. I marvel at just how loving they can be...even when I seem to have too much going on in my world.
So I began to think to myself, "this situation sounds eerily similar to another." Who else loves me soo much, even when I don't show it in return?? Thats when it hit me...that how my relationship with Jesus works out. And because of the similarities, I've concluded that these Angels on Earth were just being Jesus to me. They were and still are showing me the sincerest form of unconditional love....love in spite of....me. So I'm taking this time to thank YOU (and I don't have to tell you who you are because you already know). Thank you for holding on to me...thank you for thinking of me...thank you for praying for me. The Bible teaches us that the 'effectual fervant prayers of a righteous [wo]man availeth much' (James 5:16). Through your prayers, I've been strong, for both myself and my family.
YOU DONT KNOW HOW MUCH YOU MEAN TO ME!!!!
Much love...
That Chunkyboi
So many of you may know that my Dad passed away a few weeks ago. I have to say that this has been probably one of the hardest things I've ever had to deal with. Everything from the actual funeral events to the constant reminders of the upcoming Father's Day--all of it has played its part in making this a hard for me.
But there has been a blessing in the midst of this whirlwind. It has forced me to reflect on life and how beautiful it is--how beautiful the design of the world is...how wondrous the spring colors are...how beautiful people can be (even New Jersey folks....rarely...lol). There are some people in this world that really embody that Galatians 6:1-2 kind of love. And it just feels so sincere. I tend to call those folks Angels on Earth. Everytime I think on them, I say to myself that they must have the purest of hearts. I marvel at just how loving they can be...even when I seem to have too much going on in my world.
So I began to think to myself, "this situation sounds eerily similar to another." Who else loves me soo much, even when I don't show it in return?? Thats when it hit me...that how my relationship with Jesus works out. And because of the similarities, I've concluded that these Angels on Earth were just being Jesus to me. They were and still are showing me the sincerest form of unconditional love....love in spite of....me. So I'm taking this time to thank YOU (and I don't have to tell you who you are because you already know). Thank you for holding on to me...thank you for thinking of me...thank you for praying for me. The Bible teaches us that the 'effectual fervant prayers of a righteous [wo]man availeth much' (James 5:16). Through your prayers, I've been strong, for both myself and my family.
YOU DONT KNOW HOW MUCH YOU MEAN TO ME!!!!
Much love...
That Chunkyboi
Monday, June 1, 2009
Ode to Chelz
You take me up so high
Higher up and high I reached the sky
Feel so good, you in my life
My Paradise
Higher up and high I reached the sky
Feel so good, you in my life
My Paradise
You got that BOOM, BOOM, BOOM
I wanna work your world
Cuz you are my world...
I heart you...
That ChunkyboiLong as I liiiiive, (you will be my) my first blogggg!!
Greetings eWorld,
I just have to say that I'm very excited to be entering the world of "blog." This might just be a marriage that can work out. Why, you ask? Because "I HAVE SOMETHING TO SAY!!!" (all of you intense Anchorman fans are probably the only ones to get that one).
Needless-to-say, I'm very excited about this, and I hope you can find these postings to be as thought-provoking as I plan them to be. This is interactive, so feel free to leave your comments, questions, ideas on my site and I will be sure to incorporate them joints!!
Much love eWorld...
That Chunkyboi
I just have to say that I'm very excited to be entering the world of "blog." This might just be a marriage that can work out. Why, you ask? Because "I HAVE SOMETHING TO SAY!!!" (all of you intense Anchorman fans are probably the only ones to get that one).
Needless-to-say, I'm very excited about this, and I hope you can find these postings to be as thought-provoking as I plan them to be. This is interactive, so feel free to leave your comments, questions, ideas on my site and I will be sure to incorporate them joints!!
Much love eWorld...
That Chunkyboi
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